Deep and Wide

I had a lovely surprise on Monday. My dear friend, Erin, dropped in to visit us for a couple days. She was with us in Jerusalem as an intern, and has meant so much to me ever since. It had been a rather rough weekend spiritually and emotionally, so words cannot express how blessed I was to see her face when I got out of class that morning, and to spend time with her and a group of friends that night at BJ’s. This past week was Purim, a Jewish holiday, and it amazed me to remember where I was this time last year and how faithful God has been in each season of my life. He was faithful to bring me to Israel and do that work in my heart and life, and He’s being faithful to me right now as I’m growing and learning here in school. As I realize that, I know that I can trust Him to be faithful with my future.

I was feeling broken this morning about how often I fail to live a life that’s pleasing to God. So of course, our speaker for lectures gave a dynamic message through Psalm 51. It was all about brokenness and how that’s what pleases God. I was so impacted to hear him say that God is attracted to weakness! His ending statement has been ringing in my ears all day: “God’s plans for you are deep and wide.” I offer Him my heart, fully, and in my broken state, He delights to use me for His plans and purposes. What an amazing God I get to serve and love for all my days!

There are a couple guys here with a guitar and a drum that I’ve been spending almost every evening jamming with. Alex, who we lovingly refer to as Fro-lex, because of his crazy fro, and Andy, who I now share a secret handshake with, have taken to calling me “our Rachael”, and we are planning some songs for the next open mic night. There are also plans underway to form a big team for the talent show and call ourselves “Beanies and the Fro”. We’re even hoping to write a song together. I’ll be sure to fill ya’ll in on it as soon as that happens :)

I’ve also grown close to my roommate Kris, and on Wednesday morning she let me borrow her car while she was in class. As I was leaving the campus, it was pretty funny to realize how happy a simple drive on my own made me. I had the revelation that God has given me a very independent heart. I know it’s that independence that has me itching to move onto something different, but I also know that this time in Bible College is key in God’s preparation of my heart. Yes, His plans are deep and wide, but before I can jump in that water, I need to spend some time in this waiting place, letting Him work in me to will and to do for His good pleasure. Rather than getting anxious about what comes next, I’m seeking to just grow in love and trust. He’ll catch me up in His story. If I keep focused on Him all along the way, that’s what will bring Him glory in the end, and that’s where I will find my joy and delight.

My Rock and Refuge

I can hardly believe I'm already a month into my 4th semester at CCBC! I guess it’s high time I fill ya’ll in on the amazing start I’ve had to this semester. After being so overwhelmed last semester, I opted out of being a TA again, so instead, I’m now working in the library! It’s fun to be back in the same job I had my first semester. Our new head librarian Bekah, is a great boss, and I work with some fun people on my shifts :)

I love all of my classes: Life of David, Acts, Music Ministry, Musicians Workshop, and Hebrew II. Music Ministry is often called Worship Ministry, but as our teacher has explained, worship is about so much more than music. We’re studying how to rightly lead people into worship through the channel of music, but it starts with living a life of worship, of sacrificial love for Jesus! Every week, I find myself intensely challenged in that class to check my heart.

Musicians Workshop is a brand new class, so we’re like the guinea pig semester. The goal of the class is to grow in skill on our specific instrument. We split up into groups for each instrument: piano, drums, bass, basic guitar, and intermediate guitar. The teacher set a point person for each group, and under that person’s guidance, we work with each other and learn from one another, while the teacher bounces from group to group to help where he can. I started out in the piano group, but there were a couple singers running around with nothing to do, so I ended up forming a vocals group. I wasn’t sure at first how it was going to turn out, but we’ve been having a lot of fun and I think it will be beneficial for all of us. I've also started giving piano lessons on Wednesday mornings to one of the girls in the class. There are things related to improv playing that I wish someone would have taught me, so I just love the feeling of getting to share those things with her.

I almost didn’t take Hebrew II this semester, except that I knew we would each get a beautiful Hebrew Bible. I prayed a lot over which classes to take, and this was one that God just led me into. We spend some time building on the grammar stuff we learned last semester, then the rest of the time, we apply what we know into tearing apart specific verses. It’s like a rich Bible study that almost brings me to tears every week, as we discover the depth of God’s heart revealed in His Word!

Ever since I got here, God keeps bringing me back to Psalm 46, which was prayed over me the day I left for Cali. It’s almost hilarious at this point how much He keeps giving it to me. Here’s an example…

My first week here, I was invited to caravan with a group of friends to CC Costa Mesa’s Friday night college group. I went to meet up with them and saw the school van waiting with a bunch of people inside. My friend Justin saw me and invited me to join them to go to a college group. I thought it was the same one, but it wasn’t. Turns out the group I was planning to go with had invited too many people to fit in their cars, so I hopped in the van with these guys and rode with them to their college group. The devo that night? Psalm 46. And since then, I’ve had people pray for me out of Psalm 46. I’ve had it brought up in teachings. I’ve even had people sing it over me! I keep getting overwhelmed with His love and kindness towards me, and I think that in this season, He wants me to just keep my eyes on Him and draw close to Him. He’ll work out the details of what’s supposed to happen in the future. But no matter how my circumstances will change, He is my Rock and my Refuge!

Please pray for me to have a sensitive spirit to His voice, to get clear direction for the next step, and most importantly, to learn to receive His love and to overflow with that love to everyone I come across.